Live a Great Life Anyway …

Jul 29

The tree remembers …

by Karen Lanser

Source Unknown but deeply appreciated!

 Enough said … ❤

 

LoveLi's avatarThe Moments Between

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One of the hardest lessons for me to learn in my healing process was to let go of the past.  Early in the separation,  I had naively believed that it would be helpful for my former husband and I to discuss the marriage breakdown and even the marriage prior to that.

It took me far too long to realize that I was causing myself ongoing pain and re-opening wounds by doing that.

He did not remember many of the events and words that had cut me open and shattered my heart. Moments and words are seared into my memory forever because they were so shocking and devastating to me. But, he did not remember. So, my pain was minimized or questioned.

The axe forgets but the tree remembers.

For awhile I tried to sort out all the reasons for this or whether he really did remember but was hiding from…

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Overcoming Adversity

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Jul 22

What next … ?

by Karen Lanser
Source Unknown

Source Unknown

As my amazing 86 year old mother-in-law has often lamented: “It’s always something.”

And, as life unfolds before us … I have learned that she is right.  Sometimes it seems ‘good’ and sometimes it feels ‘bad’.  But for sure, we are always meeting the next something.  We welcome the ‘good’ times with open arms,  but very few of us embrace the ‘bad’ ones.

But … what if we decided to be completely open and resist nothing.

As Byron Katie says, “You don’t have to like it, it’s just easier if you do.”

It’s not like we have much control over  what happens anyway. We like to believe we do but …

May we be wise enough to roll with the punches and make time to savor the joys … because … this too shall pass!

It always does … Karen

 

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Overcoming Adversity

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Jul 16

Finding the message in the mess …

by Karen Lanser

When I saw this quote … I noticed my head nodding in solemn but silent recognition that we have a choice about how we will respond when people hurt us.  We can remain victims of their recklessness disregard of our hearts … or … we can choose to look for the lesson in the exchange, decide to find the blessing in the challenge, or as the old adage goes – we can make lemonade from lemons.

It’s not always the easiest choice to make, but it IS the most empowering choice.  Some years ago I was targeted unfavorably by someone in my workplace.  I allowed it all to wreak havoc with my self-esteem for years.  I tolerated malicious gossip and inexcusable deeds to slowly poison my entire workplace.  I kept hoping that if I took the high road and ignored it, it would eventually stop.  It didn’t. My passive response appeared to be an invitation to ramp it up even more.

After one particularly painful assault on my soul … I realized that I could keep turning the other cheek OR I could stand up for myself. I realized I was being offered an opportunity to teach people how to treat me.

And, once I got the message that was tucked into that mess … I unwrapped a whole new cacophony of gifts that were just waiting for me.  Most surprisingly, there were so many blessings tucked into that challenge that I ended up identifying them in another blog post entitled Better Because You Were Not the Least Bit Nice.

As I look back on it now, I can truly say that I am grateful for what I learned … not for what I had to go through to learn it, but grateful for the lessons.  Truly.

Holding hope that you , too, will seek out the messages that might be hiding in any messes you are experiencing, Karen

Blessings in Disguise Overcoming Adversity

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Jul 8

The Wounded Healer …

by Karen Lanser

Wounded Healer

I spent decades being ashamed of my past … pleasing, perfecting, proving and performing in order hide my ‘shoddy’ roots. I could never have known, and would never have believed at the time, that finding the wisdom in my wounds would be so beneficial in my work as a counsellor/therapist.

It just never ceases to amaze me how often I get to ‘use’ the pains of my past in my efforts to support someone with their own hurts. When, as Oprah says, we find a way to turn our wounds into wisdom, they lose their painful grip and become the finest catalysts from which we can build something beautiful.

With gratitude for those gifts in my challenges, Karen

Overcoming Adversity

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